0300
by pandasize
Summary: Garrus is keeping Shepard up all night, but not for the reasons one might think. It's driving her insane...what's a girl to do?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or make any money off this fic.**

**A/N: First ME fic EVER. One-shot Shakarian smut. Please be gentle.**

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Like clockwork, the reedy wheeze trilling sharply against rumbling subharmonics wakes Shepard at that ungodly hour. The Commander had always been a light sleeper, but getting used to sharing her bed with a turian took longer than she had anticipated. It wasn't that she didn't cherish the intimate company of her lover. No, his mere presence never failed to warm her insides. His comforting words never failed to lift the heaviest of burdens off her tired shoulders. And his wry sense of humor brought frequent smiles to her lips. In fact, the gentle raking of his talons across her bare back was the only foolproof method that put her to sleep.

It was the god damn _snoring _she could do without.

Shepard thought she had it bad when she bunked with multiple, exhausted N7 trainees during her Academy days. How wrong she was. Mere millimeters away from her paper thin human eardrums, Garrus Vakarian was showing her the difference between snoring…..and _turian _snoring. His rumbling subharmonics amplified everything like a booming speaker, and the secondary, trilling wheeze hit notes so high it had her space hamster Boo running frantic circles around his cage.

She had a galaxy to save damn it! And at this rate, Shepard was sure she'd go insane from sleep deprivation before the Reapers could even try to indoctrinate her.

This had to end. _Now._

"Garrus….Garrus…" Shepard hissed softly, gently shaking his slumbering form. "Wake up!"

He remained unmoved like a mountain, and the avalanche of gravelly snores continued to crush her remaining sanity. _Ugh._ It was always the worst after an especially grueling mission. Was it nightmares? Anxiety? Shepard wished her translator could pick up the incoherent sleep mumbling, but alas, no such luck. She thought of talking to him about it in the morning, but Garrus was always gone by the time she woke up.

_Good to know ONE of us is getting enough sleep to wake up early,_ Shepard thought bitterly to herself. She punctuates the thought with a rough punch to his shoulder. "VAKARIAN! WAKE UP! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

With an odd, low grunt, he finally stirs. "Hnn?" Ice blue eyes are hazed and exhausted, and for a split second, she feels mildly guilty.

"You were snoring. Can you roll over or something? You're killing me over here."

He blinks at her, and she is suddenly unsure how much he's registering. "Yeah…definitely," he finally grumbles, entwining his arms tightly around her. One heavy leg hooks over hers and suddenly, Shepard finds herself flipping over with him, face smothered in his cowl, as he nestles down on his other side. Her arms are pinned to her sides and one leg is tangled uncomfortably in his spur. Still, the protest of the awkward position dies on her lips when she notices the quiet. _Oh sweet, delicious quiet!_ Nothing but the soft, even breaths of her lover and the humming of her aquarium. It was heaven.

And it lasts all of a minute and a half.

When it starts back up again, it is _twice_ as loud. "Garrus, I'll kill you!" Shepard hisses, struggling against his arms. Damn the brutal combination of her absolute exhaustion and his turian strength!

In his unconscious state, Garrus squeezes her tighter, hips grinding into her shifting body. The groggy mumbling continues, and finally Shepard's translator picks up a singularly surprising murmur. "_Oh Spirits, Shepard…yes…._"

_Oh shit. Was he…?_

With her arms pinned to her sides Shepard rolls her eyes and blows a few stray strands of her red air out of her eyes. Something stiff, but slick prods her thigh, and she instantly recognizes it without even looking._Really, Garrus? Now?!_

But as annoyed as she was, she couldn't help but instinctively shiver when she felt his ridged length extend and push against her flesh. Half of her wanted to slap Garrus for unconsciously humping her, but the other half was too curious. Yelling at him didn't seem to work but what if….?

She couldn't believe she was actually going to do this, but for sleep….anything was game at this point. With care, Shepard expertly contorted her body, each shift causing a grunt or groan to interrupt the incessant snoring until her fingertips brushed against his tip. Garrus held his breath in slumber. He mumbles something her translator can't pick up.

Gingerly she gripped the partially exposed shaft in her fist and glided all the way down to the sheath before delving two fingers into the shifted plates, coaxing the rest of him out by lavishing the underside of his cock with gentle caresses.

Garrus went completely silent, and it was Shepard's turn to muffle a squeak when she felt his talons dig into her flesh.

"Careful big guy…" she whispered softly in his ear. His claws relaxed, and he grunted something incoherent.

Shepard got comfortable and stroked him more firmly now, in the rhythm she knew he preferred. Slowly but surely, the rest of his length emerged, gleaming victorious from his sheath.

"_Shepard…you're beautiful…_" he slurs in his sleep. Without the snoring, her translator could pick up more.

Even unconscious, he was making her blush. Shepard continued the fluid motions of her hand and added a slight twist in her wrist. She was rewarded with the languid bucking of his hips against her fist.

A smile tugged at the edge of her lips as she imagined what exactly he could be dreaming about. _Oh the possibilities!_ She found herself getting hot and wet just by watching Garrus Vakarian —Archangel, the turian bad boy himself — melt into putty and grind desperately into her hands. She nuzzled his exposed throat and reached behind his fringe to rub the tender spots underneath.

"_Aaah…Shep—mmmm—I'm close….I'm-_-" With a sharp inhale, Garrus' luminescent eyes flashed open, staring at her in a mix of arousal and shock. "Sh-Shepard?" He was still trying to get his barings, but she wouldn't stop jacking him off. Instead, she just grinned at him with a wicked twinkle in her emerald green eyes.

"Yea?" Her voice was so lusty with need it surprised even herself.

"What are you…." His breathing was labored and erratic. Mandibles flickered against her cheek when he finally came to what was really happening. "Aaah…spirits, don't stop!"

She didn't think it was possible, but he grew even more rigid in her hand. His cock was impossibly thick and ready for release. No, _requiring_ release. A thin stream of opaque liquid leaked from his tip and ran down her hand.

Shepard increased the intensity and speed of her strokes, twisting her wrist in one direction on the way down, and tugging his cock taut in the other on the way back up. Her other hand continued to work the more sensitive underside of his fringe as her tongue snaked its way up his neck and around the mandible.

"Sh-Shep—Shepard that feels…" A low, dual-toned growl rips from his throat, and she knows he was fighting himself, prolonging the pleasure, or as he inadvertently termed it — savoring the last shot before…

"It's okay, Garrus," she whispers wantingly. "Just cum. I wanna see you cum."

And with an airy shudder, he unraveled in the palm of her hand. Hot, thick liquid shoots long bursts along her belly and under her breasts. He shook and bucked, while instinctively pulling her closer. His cum smearing across his plates, sheets, and her thighs.

As he rides out his climax, she licks the crevices of his scarred mandible. The texture drove her wild. And when he finally came to, he flashes her the turian equivalent of a smile, baring all his pointed teeth. "Hmm…not the worst way to wake up, Shepard." He was so damn pleased with himself and he hadn't even lifted a finger.

_Well, I'll certainly have to change that_, Shepard smirked wickedly to herself. "I woke you up because I just wanted you to stop your damn snoring, Garrus," she tries to squeeze some authority and gravitas in her voice to mask the unbearable need building within her. "You've kept me up for days. I was starting to go insane."

His face fell for an instant. "What? Why didn't you mentioned anything?" She could see the forthcoming apology in the way his brow plates slackened. "I just. Wow. I mean—"

"Shhh…" An apology wasn't what she wanted now though. And neither was sleep. She pressed a finger to his mouth and placed a kiss against his mandible. "You've kept me up, and now I'm so tense…. "

"Oh…I…" A longer pause and then… _"Oh."_

Time suspended when she felt his talons ghost over her slippery netherlips. He had always been a fast learner.

"I'll have to help you unwind then," he hummed against her ear. "Blow off some steam." The vibrations from his subharmonics charged straight through her stomach and dove into her core, causing her clit to ache and opening to hungrily pucker against the pads of his talons.

He chuckles at her eagerness.

"Are you up for it though?" she gasps when he begins to finger her, shivering at the vulgar sounds being made by his talons manipulating her dripping cunt. "Y-you look pretty spent yourself..think you can handle more of a mess?"

"Lucky for you, Archangel is your boyfriend," his dual-toned voice had that lilt that never failed to make her insides clench with anticipation. "And he's very good at cleaning up."

Shepard couldn't argue with his tongue swirling in the soft shell of an ear. _Maybe turian snoring wasn't so bad,_ she thought to herself —especially if the solution ended with Garrus' head between her legs.


End file.
